I have so many thoughts running through my head; so many impressions floating around in quite a disordered fashion. I think the fact that I've been watching Japanese TV all morning isn't helping matters. It all seems quite random.

I went to Mie University Hospital again yesterday. It was my second time there, and my fifth time at a hospital looking for a reason and a cure for the earache I've had for about six or seven weeks now.

My symptoms seem to be hard to diagnose, because the first few times I went the doctor thought that I had Meniere's disease. The specialist at Mie University Hospital thinks that I may have some kind of neuralgia (nerve pain) instead. But he's not sure. None of the doctors are ever sure.

I went to the pain clinic at the hospital yesterday to see an anesthesiologist. He prescribed me something for what may or may not be neuralgia. Now I wait and see. Then I go back Monday.

I have missed so many days of school because of this. I am so lucky to have an understanding and supportive Board of Education. My supervisor takes me to the hospital each time. It's a lot of long car rides and waiting rooms. The hospital in Matsusaka is over and hour away, and the hospital in Tsu is about and hour and a half away.

It's so frustrating. I don't want to be sick. I don't want to be reliant on medicine everyday. I want to be motivated and have the energy to clean this damned apartment of mine. But for now I don't.

However, I am thankful for my faith, and for the comfort God gives me. I am also thankful for my friends from Kisei Chapel, who have been so caring and encouraging.

I just really, really hope that this medicine will help me and end this pain!!